<–begin rant now–>

I’m probably a rare breed. When someone is speaking to me, I want them to start out going 60mph. I wish people would throw the gear into 5 and drive. Instead, the first 5 min are usually filled with meaningless bull snot. So that leads me to this list. The list of things that drive me nuts when I watch someone speak.

Meaningless openers for the sake of making noise:

- “Hey, how are we doing?” (do you really want to know? I hear no one answering…)

- “I’m so excited to speak to you today” (really?)

- “So and so asked me to speak, and I thought, yeah, I could do that” (obviously, that’s why you’re up there)

Other random pet peeves:

- Using a voice that you never use, except when you “preach”. Such as yelling or adding accents on every word-da. Do you know what I’m saying-ah? Jesus is good-da. They talk like this-ah.

- Repeating phrases over and over and over because they’re nervous and don’t know what to say.

- Prayers that turn into preaching at people. Or prayers that start off talking to God, and then end in directing other people to do something. I sometimes wonder who that person is talking to. Is it me, or God? When did it change?

- When you don’t look me in the eye.

- When you pace back and forth way to much.

- When you whisper, then yell, then whisper, then yell again.

- Asking people to clap or applaud. Sometimes I think the person does it (possibly unconsciously) for self edification. Because if no one claps at the end of the song, they don’t like it right?

<–end rant–>